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Funny Insults for Friends About Being Broke

Ten Things to Stop Saying to Your Poor Friends

Are you middle class, working class, or wealthy? It's not surprising if you're not sure. Even in social justice spaces, we rarely speak about class, except in the vaguest of terms.

Classism shows up in lots of aspects of life, not just conversation. But since we have to acknowledge our own class statuses before anything can change, talking about classism in conversation is a pretty good starting point. And, super importantly, it can help make us better friends, family, and community members to one another.

[Cartoon image of a stack of bills and letters. The top letter says, "Final Notice" in stamped letters.]

1.

"You always pack your lunch. I should do that more often!" (As you eat food you've bought out for the fifth time this week.)

Many poor people don't have the ability to purchase pre-made food on a whim, much less on a regular basis. We aren't bringing food with us because it's a financially savvy alternative to eating out — we're bringing food with us because if we don't, we won't have any food to eat.

You might think to yourself that fast food is ample and cheap, and perhaps as a one off it is. But when is the last time you subsisted on Hungry Jacks every day of the week? Besides, if you paid attention you'd notice that our lunches are typically much cheaper than a fast food meal.

2.

"I'm trying to do this minimalism/no spending challenge."

In order to be "minimalist," one has to know they have the ability to go out and purchase anything they need at any time. Poor people do not have this ability. We hold on to what you might consider "junk" because we have to for practical purposes. The idea of binning something half unused strikes our hearts with horror. What if we need it later? Being able to adopt minimalism is just as much a sign of class privilege as owning lots of stuff is.

Similarly, to poor folks, the concept of no spend challenges is either laughable or offensive. When freelance journalist Michelle McGagh took on a year of no spending, she wrote: "I could continue to pay my bills, including mortgages, utilities, broadband, phone bill, charity donations, life insurances, money to help my family and basic groceries." Charity donations? Life insurance? Most of these "necessary" expenses are not only gratuitous, they're unimaginable to poor folks. You can't have a mortgage if you can barely afford rent.

3.

"How is your job search going? Oh, yeah, me? I put in three applications and then my cousin Sasha recommended me for an open position at her office. I got the job yesterday. I'm just so lucky like that!"

To poor people, it's no mystery that being poor in itself is a huge barrier to finding work. When you're poor, you don't have the privilege of developing the type of rapport and social skills necessary to landing work through, say, cold-calling or turning up to your favourite business's front door. That's assuming you have reliable transportation to get to the interview and regular transportation to get to the job. (Too bad if your household shares one car or if the public transport in your area is lacklustre.)

Dress is also a huge issue. We may be able to access interview-worthy clothes secondhand, or have one solid interview outfit in storage, but how do we know what type of dress is appropriate in the first place? I can't count the number of times I've turned up to an interview feeling daggy in ill-fitting used clothes, or entirely overdressed. Poor folks often don't have the opportunity to learn to dress appropriately in formal settings. Some of us learn by imitation as adults when entering more formal spaces, and some of us never do.

4.

"Wow, reusing your containers. That's so environmentally friendly!"

Poor people reuse their containers because then they don't have to purchase containers — or alternatively, go without containers because they're lower on the priority list than say, paying rent. In my household, we save our large, sturdy instant coffee jars. Our soap dishes are crafted from old bottles. Many of our storage containers are made from cardboard boxes. Reusing these items is environmentally friendly, but that's not the reason we refashion them: it's because the few dollars we save each time can go toward things like medical bills, groceries and more necessary household items.

[Image of a cartoon savings account statement and a cartoon piggy bank outline. The amount pending is $25.40, and the available balance is $1.74.]

5.

"Ugh, I had to ride the bus into the city today because there's not a carpark where I'm going. It's just taking so long to get there."

When you live in a city and you're too poor to own or maintain a car, public transport is a fact of life. That means that taking ages to get from one place to another, dealing with unpleasant bus drivers and passengers, walking for ages to get to the stop you need, and waiting for ages because the bus is late or was way too early, are also facts of life.

When the alternative is walking everywhere you need to go, public transport doesn't seem so terrible. When the alternative is driving in your car, choosing your fellow passengers, getting there in half the time, and only walking a few metres, I can see why the bus would seem so unsavoury. But if you really need to complain about it, you should probably hit up one of your other middle class friends.

6.

" I love this jacket. I had to get it. I know it was $120 but it was marked down from $220, so it was kind of a good deal, right?"

Poor people often can't afford new clothes. Some of us use second-hand and clearance shopping as a salve. Some of us, myself included, learn to dread clothes shopping. Unless I absolutely can't help it, I avoid it at all costs. My partner more or less drags me from shop to shop.

You might be wondering, "But doesn't it feel good to get new clothes?" And yes, afterward, it does. But during the clothes shopping itself, all I can feel is the relentless pull of one thought: "I don't really need that."

Thirty dollars is too expensive, even for a shirt I love. Sure, those jeans are on sale, but I have six older pairs at home. Having this relationship with new clothes — in fact, with all "nonnecessities" — makes it really difficult to keep a straight face when you tell me you "needed" a pair of $300 Doc Martens.

I don't want you to feel guilty that you can afford nice things. I don't want you to be less excited about your new shoes. I just want you to share that excitement with someone who doesn't put off buying new underwear for a year and then end up buying the $10 value pack at Kmart anyway.

7.

"Are you sure you don't want to come out with us? It'll be fun!"

If someone consistently turns down making plans that involve spending money, then pro tip: don't badger them about it. It's certainly polite to try to include your friends when you can, but the best way to do this is to plan activities that are one hundred percent free, not attempt to convince your friend to come along anyway.

It's embarrassing to admit that you don't have a mere ten dollars to spare, and having to say no to potential positive experiences sucks enough without being explicitly reminded that you're missing out. I cannot emphasise enough how alienating it can be to never be able to join one's own group of friends for drinks, a movie, dinner or other social events. Making plans that don't cost a thing — even just every so often — can go a long way toward showing you're conscious of your class privilege and trying to be a considerate friend.

8.

"I just don't think that there's any excuse not to be vegan/buy organic/shop ethically. Everyone should do their part. It's not that expensive if you do it right."

Here's the thing. It may not be expensive or difficult for you to eat a vegan and/or organic and/or "ethical" diet, but that can't be generalised to the entire world. Vegan or organic food may be plentiful and relatively inexpensive where you live, but there are food deserts where fresh vegetables are a luxury item. You may be able to budget for groceries to save money overall, but for poor folks it may not be so simple (see the next point). You may have the time, energy, and physical ability to do the prep work involved in eating whole foods, but poor folks working multiple jobs, disabled folks, and single parents may not.

When folks with less privilege than you explain that a certain choice is out of their reach — regardless of what that choice is — insisting that it's actually totally possible is insulting and belittling. Trust us, we've given it a lot more consideration than you're able to without knowing the ins and outs of our daily lives.

9.

"Well if you budgeted, you could afford it."

This sentiment is so common that it's rarely questioned. If you just cut out one coffee run per week, stopped buying the most expensive of your grocery purchases, gave up your Netflix subscription, rode the bus instead of driving to save on petrol… But what if you never had the ability to afford any of those things in the first place? What if you only buy a five dollar coffee a few times per year, regularly buy the cheapest groceries possible, have never had a Netflix subscription, and always ride the bus?

You can only budget to afford additional things if your budget accommodates more than the bare necessities. For poor people, there is often little to nothing to cut out. In this situation, every dollar counts. An unexpected expense can mean not eating enough, falling behind on bills, choosing between food and medication, or being unable to travel because you can't afford the bus fare. It's important to remember that while your budget might have room for non-necessities which can be added or subtracted at will, others' may not have any room at all.

10.

"I just had to pay for my insurance/phone bill/utilities, and now I'm so poor."

Here's the thing. If you weren't poor before you paid for an expense, you aren't poor afterward. Being poor isn't a three day period between paying your bills and receiving your next paycheck. Being poor is being poor every day, before every purchase — a perpetual state of insecurity over whether you'll have heat during the winter, food when you're hungry, medicine when you're sick. If you don't have to worry about basic life expenses, that's a really good thing, but please don't tell me that you're poor and expect me to sympathise.

There are those who will say, "But how do you know that the people in question aren't really poor?" And the truth is, I don't always know for sure. Because we fail to address class privilege in virtually any context, most of the time I'm making an educated guess. The only way to address that, to own up to the ways class impacts our abilities and opportunities, is to talk about it. And if you're on the class privileged end of the spectrum, it's equally important to take the time to listen to folks who aren't.

There are heaps of things you can do to tackle economic injustice, and some of them start in your own immediate community. When you're able, donate food and supplies to local organisations that distribute donations directly to people who need them. Do your research to find out what's really needed, and donate with care (would you want to eat those dusty, old tinned pears? No? Then why would anyone else?).

You can also fight for economic justice on a policy level. Actively voice support for policies that better poor folks' lives, regardless of whether the policies will materially benefit you. Advocate a living wage for everyone, support policies which reduce housing and workplace discrimination, and drown out dissenters of government assistance with affirmations that poor, aged, and disabled folks deserve to live and thrive.

Finally, recognise that economic injustice overlaps with other forms of injustice in particularly harmful ways. Fighting classism means fighting sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and other forms of injustice, too. But that's a topic for another zine. :)

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Source: https://medium.com/@kainiezgoda/ten-things-to-stop-saying-to-your-poor-friends-5491ba10ba19

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